What I really like about this is it doesn't focus on hacks around the kids.
I'm sceptical about the idea you could hack being a parent and if you want to you should probably think about whether parenting is something you really want to do.
If you choose to bring someone else into this world, you owe it to them to give being their mum or dad your absolute best shot and not try and cut corners. As Jeff Atwood said of Steve Jobs around the time he quit Stack Overflow "if you're going to fk something up, fk up the iPad, don't fk up your kids".
Obviously there are things you can do (usually around having an understanding partner who will put in the time you can't if that has to happen) but don't fool yourself it's the same as allof you spending quality time as a family.
Recently, I have been practicing a new time management technique and I am calling it the “Minimum Viable Daily Tasks”. Here is how it works: Choose the minimum amount of work that needs to be done everyday so that you have a big smile on your face when you are heading home in the evening. If you accomplish anything more then it is a bonus.
It's hard to call that bad advice... it most certainly is great, until you have nothing left to do that makes you happy. At that point you might either consider yourself a failure or realize that this just is not realistic.
Jobs have ups and downs, and no situation is perfect for anything, whether it's raising kids or maintaining your own particular sanity. Expecting a prescription for "being happy while doing thing x I have not done" to work for you is setting yourself up for failure.
Normally I'd say this is likely to help many people a bit along the way, but raising kids might be the only thing too personal and individual to warrant any kind of "well hey this worked for entrepreneur X in The Ess Vee so it should work for me."
I wish there was a guide for dads (or moms) for balancing a one year old running around the house, running a software consultancy, an early stage startup and an MS degree on the side, all from home.
I'm wrapping up the degree in a few days, so that's one less item on my plate. Funny one of the things you suggested I can get rid of, is my child, surely you're joking Mr. krickman!
You're absolutely right. When it comes to my daughter (and wife), everything else takes the back seat. My work, startup and university have all suffered because of it, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
I think that you have to prioritize - no human can do the four things you've listed at max capacity for each. It's just impossible. You can have a Dad, have a part-time consultancy, be working on your startup "on the side" for 15ish hours a week, and go to school part-time. That works. But there's only so many working hours and so many play hours to go around.
168: Hours in a week
50: Hours of sleep a week (average)
========================
118 hours of work and play
60 hours a week of working
58 hours a week of playing
Of those 60 hours, it's just a matter of priorities that week in terms of what goes where. You can't work full-time on the consultancy, the startup, and be the degree - just not enough hours in the week.
The reason I spell it out like this is that sometimes our mental approach to a problem causes stress for us. If you have it in your head that, "I'm trying to do my consultancy full-time and get my degree quickly", then man - that's just a lot of pressure when you look around and go, "Holy crap - I've hardly worked on my startup at all today! Sorry, honey - I can't play with little {insert_child_name} today because I need to work!" The right frame of mind makes a lot of difference IMO.
Hey thanks. I've tried several times to have set hours for the different tasks, but it doesn't last long, everything becomes a blur again in a few days. That's when the stress level spikes.
A guide like that would be like "How to be rich in X steps". Just the concept of balance is too optimistic, probably juggling is a better word.
I think three or four "parents" are needed to grow a child in "modern" societies ;-) I use quotes because the price of two working parents [full time] is very high.
That's too much stuff at once. This coming from the guy who has like a million startups. Your issue is that everything is unrelated. You can't combine work loads (that's the secret). When you are able to combine work loads, stuff gets simpler.
He's quite right. I never equate hours in front of a screen to productivity. Its wrong. I am (for the last 8 years) a dad to 2 boys and have worked in start ups for the last 16 years or so. Sometimes I have to leave early, sometimes I start later, most of the time I drop them off at school, etc.
The last thing I want is to come home late to see two sleeping kids and then leave early the next day.
The idea of waiting until you're 30 to have kids is a common one but is less simple than most people think.
If you're with someone in your 20s and you both agree to it then it's great, but if you aren't then the whole timing thing is a long way from simple. You're talking about finding someone, checking they're the right someone, settling down, marriage, kids etc. is a pretty long and complex chain to just assume will happen, and you're up against either your or your partners ticking biological clock (fertility decreasing as you get older and dropping off pretty sharply in your 30s).
It's all doable but I would say if your plan is to be having kids in your early 30s, that's a plan that you need to start acting on in your mid 20s rather than finding yourself single at the age of 30 and having to start there.
There are benefits to having children earlier. They get to know their grandparents more. You have more energy for them. You get to know them for more of your life.
Not sure these benefits outweigh increased stability or other things, but they are worth considering.
It's a decision you need to make - play now or play later. We chose to have our kids early on, so we have more energy to play with them, and once they are grown we still have enough energy to do whatever we would like to do then.
These tips are great because they are not just for parents with kids but for anyone who wants to be more productive.
I especially like the tip around writing down a plan for the next day the night before - I've started doing this recently and it enables me to offload thoughts and worries about the next day and focus on getting a good night sleep.
Oxymoron (ox·y·mo·ron) is a combination of contradictory
or incongruous words. For example:
Early in the morning when everyone is asleep
Between our friends and family I am aware of exactly one toddler that sleeps until 8 in the morning and she is widely regarded as a miracle child for just that reason.
I'm sceptical about the idea you could hack being a parent and if you want to you should probably think about whether parenting is something you really want to do.
If you choose to bring someone else into this world, you owe it to them to give being their mum or dad your absolute best shot and not try and cut corners. As Jeff Atwood said of Steve Jobs around the time he quit Stack Overflow "if you're going to fk something up, fk up the iPad, don't fk up your kids".
Obviously there are things you can do (usually around having an understanding partner who will put in the time you can't if that has to happen) but don't fool yourself it's the same as allof you spending quality time as a family.